Yummy Family: A little bit of reflection on Dean...

A long time ago, I dreamed of having kids one day... being a mother one day. In my mind, I always saw two little girls. One would be mine and the other one would be mine through adoption. I knew I could go through pregnancy once, but I thought once was definitely enough and I would be scared out of my mind to go through that again. I'm a planner and I had things all planned out...

And then that ultrasound showed up on the screen and "boy" became the reality. For someone that thinks they have life all planned out... that was a true turn-my-world-upside-down moment. And then Devon came along and my heart fell in love with the most amazing, beautiful, precious baby in the whole world.

I still thought I could bring my plan back on course. I firmly told my OB-GYN that she would NEVER see me again because I would NEVER be pregnant again. Ha! Well, little by little, my heart started to melt. Every time I looked at Devon, I thought I wanted him to have that special bond with a sibling... that special bond with a sister... to be a big brother to a little sister. See where this is going? I still was imagining Barbies and tea parties and ribbons around ponytails.

I faced my deepest fears. I made the conscious decision to get pregnant again. Firoze and I both wanted to expand our family and we spent many hours staying up late talking about "should we?" "right now?" and mainly "are we sure?" It was no accident that #2 came along.

Sometimes blogs gloss over the realities of life and paint a picture of perfect memories. I want to be truthful and say how things really went down. When I found out baby #1 was going to be a boy, I was devestated beyond belief. Maybe that's selfish, but I only imagined having a daughter for at least 15 years. I never saw a son, or trucks, or sports, or anything remotely boyish. With #2, I knew how much I loved Devon beyond belief, but still wanted a girl. And then the day was here... the ultrasound day. In that moment I was having the ultrasound, time stood still and every second became an hour. I heard the tick, tick, tock of the clock and felt my own heart beat and knew our family would be complete with the announcement of "boy" or "girl." In that moment, when she said "you're going to have another boy" I felt complete peace. I expected to feel that same sense of loss as the first time, but instead I felt like somewhere inside, I knew it all along. I felt like this was the lesson of my life... my family is complete and I have learned how to be the mother of boys. Something I never expected and something I never had in MY plan.

Thank God for His plans. He knew what I didn't know. That my two boys would bless my life more than I can ever say. I'm not sappy or overly emotional. I don't walk around telling people that my boys bring tears of joy to my eyes. I usually tell people how I haven't slept well, or I'm stressed out that Dean is teething, or the insanely smart things that come out of Devon's mouth on a daily basis. But the truth is that life is made up of so many different facets... the soul changing moments, like when your child is born and the ordinary moments, like when Dean blows rasberries with his food and sprays my entire face with applesauce 15 times in a row.

All that to say... Dean was the answer to my prayers. The winning lotto ticket. The end of the story. He made our family complete and that is a huge piece of the puzzle. Like when you are little and you think "hmmm... wonder who I'm going to marry?" and "hmmm... wonder what my kids will look like one day?" Well, now I know. I married someone from the other side of the world and my kids are pretty adorable with tan skin and dark round eyes with the longest eyelashes I have ever seen.

So, Happy Birthday to my little Deansie. To my precious gift. To my beautiful boy. We made it and you are 1 now!

Here are some of my favorite moments of the past year: